Barkhamsted Lighthouse

I grew up in Barkhamsted. When people ask me where that is, I usually joke and say, drive to the middle of nowhere - and then go 5 more miles. I tease that my hometown has one blinking red light and that it's a minimum of a 20 minute drive to anything (both things are true).

Something that looms in the history of Barkhamsted is the romanticized story of "The Barkhamsted Lighthouse." I doubt very many people outside the small town know it - a house built in the woods along a river. Once used as trails for Indigenous people, then replaced with stage coaches. The only light to be seen for miles was that from the house occupied by Molly Barber and James Chaugham. Molly, a young white woman, and James a young indigenous man, who defied the norms of society to get married and live "happily ever after."

Later it became a village of marginalized people. An eclectic mix of Indigenous, Black, and white folks living together outside of town with Molly and James and their eight children at the center. They essentially lived, undisturbed, offering help to weary travelers in route to New Hartford. Some travelers joining their diverse community - and some marrying Molly and James' children and moving them into more populated parts of Northwestern Connecticut.

As I child I always romanticized this story - the star-crossed lovers, fighting against the odds, to be together. An epic love story overcoming prejudice and hatred. The triumph of love shining a light in an unforgiving world.

But now, as an adult, I'm saddened to think that so many years later - we are still in need of such communities; hidden from larger society. That those marginalized still need a refuge from bigotry, racism, and hatred. That we still need a world where people have to hide away to be their true selves and to love who they want to love. And I can't help but wonder if this aspect of humanity will ever change for the good and that one day, we can all live in lighthouses in the main parts of town - shining on each other, proudly and loudly and embraced for who we are

- not who they try to make us to be.